English translation of the Afrikaans aardvark.  It is slightly puzzling how many high streets, even in quite small English towns, have shops dedicated to trading in these bald, burrowing, nocturnal insectivores.

NOCTURNAL 

To awaken each day to discover your doorbell is broken.

DIURNAL

A fixed belief that one will die only during the hours of daylight.  People suffering this psychosis are happier in the Winter  but shit-scared during the Summer months.

NARCOLEPTIC

Quote from: Gyppo on November 06, 2020, 05:38:53 PM
A fixed belief that one will die only during the hours of daylight.  people suffering this psychosis are happier in the Winter  but shit-scared during the Summer months.

And spend a lot of money migrating between the Arctic and Antarctic Circles.

NARCOLEPTIC

An ulcer of the digestive system caused by indulging in too much wacky-baccy.

DIGESTIVE

To sit and contemplate life as a biscuit.

SHUNTER

One whose dominant life choice is to avoid everything.

CLOTHESLINE

Coco Channel, Yves Saint Laurent, and Georgio Armani's wares. The label is the most expensive portion of the garment.




UNDERWEAR

A verb indicating almost total lack of use.  Like a ten year old car with less than than ten miles on the clock.

OVER-WROUGHT

The coat of arms placed above the fencing made of wrought iron




HERALDRY

An umbrella made especially for a lady. It's lightweight so as to not make her arm ache from holding it up, but robust enough to give an errant servant a damn good thrashing if he's slow to answer the door.

BUMBERSHOOT

An early, and terminal, mistake made by a young plant which sends its first seedling down into the compost instead of upwards towards the sun.

(Incidentally, Mark, what is it actually?)

BACTERIUM

Indecisive bacteria.

XYGOTE

Quote from: Jo Bannister on November 08, 2020, 09:46:13 AM
(Incidentally, Mark, what is it actually?)

A slang term for an umbrella. Bumber coming from umb and shoot from chute. As an aside, I use to use my own slang term umbrolly but this later became the name of a company selling umbrellas from vending machines. So, I had to switch to Rgcww which is really hard to pronounce but stands for: rain guard, crap when windy.

XYGOTE

A horned ruminant that specialises in line graphs.

ALGEBRA

The never-washed brassiere of a disgustingly slovenly wench.  This wretched garment has long since lost any trace of its original colour underneath a thick and slimy deposit of algae.

COMPLACENT

shortened form of co-emplacement. Literally two places. But not any two places. This is where you put your keys or phone instead of where you should have put your keys or phone and now you have to look all over the damn house to find them. It is not only frustrating, but timely, when you do this to your cup of coffee as if it takes too long, the coffee will be cold after your game of Hide and Seek




SEEKING