No need to beat the bloody door down, I'm already fully cognisant of your attempts to attract my attention by rapidly drumming your knuckles against the wooden apparatus suspended on sturdy hinges between my doorposts.

I hear you knocking.

You must incorporate a specific numbered interval of percussive events so that it is precisely distinguishable to your person.

Knock Three Times

Recline, repose, lounge oh one of the adult females, rest, relax, sprawl


Lay, Lady, Lay

The great escape artist that was all shackled up and thrown in the water

Houdini(contemporary radio music)

The possession of this sugar, oh high an mighty one above


My Sweet Lord

My mind teases me with recollections of a travelling female.

I recall a Gypsy woman.

Egotistical and cocksure mother of Jesus


Proud Mary

Remuneration for no work performed


Money for Nothing

The aged female representative of the equine species no longer has the vigour and enthusiasm she previously displayed.

The old grey mare she ain't what she used to be.

Me having midnight somnolent movies of Color-of-the-year yuletide.

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

Attend here, you lot - except all the Traitors!

Oh come, all ye faithful

Three hundred and sixty-five days ago I donated to you, yes you, not anyone else, the central pump which keeps my sanguinary fluids in circulation.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart.

The caribou with the rubicund proboscis and the Germanic name

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer

Gone to the place lies a feeding trough with substantial contents


Away in a Manger

Hear that?  The fly-boys are having a knees-up

Hark, the herald angels sing