Limericks

Started by Jo Bannister, December 08, 2022, 05:25:40 PM

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Jo Bannister

Do you remember the limerick strand we had running for ages on The Other Place?  Some of them were very funny.  Shall we have another go?  I'll kick off with

There was an old lady from Worcester

(pronounced, for the benefit of our colonial friends, Wooster - and therefore perfectly capable of scanning)

Gyppo

There was an old lady from Worcester
who had an affair with a Rooster

Spell Chick

There was an old lady from Worcester
who had an affair with a Rooster
The egg that she laid
Imperfect Reason My thoughts, such as they are.

Jo Bannister

There was an old lady from Worcester
who had an affair with a rooster.
The egg that she laid
grew up a fair maid

Jo Bannister

There was an old lady from Worcester
who had an affair with a rooster.
The egg that she laid
grew up a fair maid -
but she'd let out a cluck if you goosed her.

Next please.

Gyppo

There was an old pikey from Totton


Jo Bannister

There was an old pikey from Totton
whose memory, frankly, was rotton.

Jo Bannister

There was an old pikey from Totton
whose memory, frankly, was rotten.
Once, boarding a bus,
was surprised at the fuss
till he noticed he hadn't a lot on.

DGSquared

There once was a fellow from Oxnard
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

A child's life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark. -Chinese proverb

Blondesplosion! ~Deb

Jo Bannister

There once was a fellow from Oxnard
who invented a potion called Pox-Guard.

Gyppo

There once was a fellow from Oxnard
who invented a potion called Pox-Guard.
which tasted so vile

Jo Bannister

There once was a fellow from Oxnard
who invented a potion called Pox-Guard
which tasted so vile
that, once in a while,

Jo Bannister

If no one finishes this tomorrow, I'll damn well finish it myself!

Jo Bannister

Don't say I didn't warn you!


There once was a fellow from Oxnard
who invented a potion called Pox-Guard
which tasted so vile
that, once in a while,
his stomach would heave and sink socksward.

***

How is it that folks who like writing
find penning a limerick frightening?
Man up!  Post a line -
if it's rotten, that's fine -
if it won't scan, so what? - you won't be struck by lightning!...


Gyppo

It's a strange one, Jo.  Some days there's just nothing there.

Pulling the wings off limericks is cruel