But even The Sun turned her down.
"You may be the talk of the town
but you'll not grace our pages
without consulting the sages



You would think I would learn to work this crap

But even The Sun turned her down.
"You may be the talk of the town
but you'll not grace our pages
without consulting the sages -
your antics make decent folks frown."

***

There was a young sportsman from Spain

There was a young sportsman from Spain
whose arsehole was causing him pain

There was a young sportsman from Spain
whose arsehole was causing him pain.
It wasn't his piles -
though he had miles and miles! -

There was a young sportsman from Spain
whose arsehole was causing him pain.
It wasn't his piles -
though he had miles and miles! -
But the javelin he'd sat on - Again!


Let's be brave...

An elderly writer called Gyppo

An elderly writer called Gyppo
recently purchased a hippo

An elderly writer called Gyppo
recently purchased a hippo
which arrived neatly wrapped

An elderly writer called Gyppo
recently purchased a hippo
which arrived neatly wrapped,
and booted and capped,

(ps: Love the javelin line, Gyppo!)

An elderly writer called Gyppo
recently purchased a hippo
which arrived neatly wrapped,
and booted and capped,
and offered him a light from its Zippo.

But the flint in the Zippo had bust

But the flint in the Zippo had bust -
as they will, at the first sign of rust.

But the flint in the Zippo had bust -
as they will, at the first sign of rust.
So it just wouldn't spark

But the flint in the Zippo had bust -
as they will, at the first sign of rust.
So it just wouldn't spark
The night remained dark

But the flint in the Zippo had bust -
as they will, at the first sign of rust.
So it just wouldn't spark
The night remained dark
filled with Firestarter's unsated lust.

A limerick is fun when it flows

A limerick is fun when it flows
from the start, through the middle, to its close.

A limerick is fun when it flows
from the start, through the middle, to its close.
But sometimes it wobbles