Ambiguous sentence construction.

Started by Gyppo, July 07, 2024, 07:06:15 PM

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Gyppo

From a book I've been reading.

'There were no cards, no food in Tupperware containers from neighbours in the fridge.'

    I think I'd be, a) seriously disconcerted if I had neighbours in my fridge, or b) a serial killer with storage problems  ;-)

Gyppo


Jo Bannister

That's the sort of thing you should pick up in your first edit.  On the first draft, you can't afford to be too distracted by the possibility of neighbours in the fridge or relatives with odd extremities ("I inherited the table from my granny - the one with Queen Anne legs.")  Coming back to it with a cooler eye, after the mandatory step-away, you should spot little traps like that.  If you don't, your publisher's editor should - but it makes a much better impression if they don't have to.