Autistic

I'd like to hold your friendly gaze,
to show I'm not shifty,
to fit into your perceived norms.
But  neither can I stare
like some damned psychotic.

Unless I need to intimidate
someone who deserves it.
Then I can stare like a basilisk,
a chilling focus.

You assume I'm inattentive,
or bad-mannered,
dismissive, even rude.
"Look at me when I'm talking to you!"

Family and friends understand.
We have lengthy conversations
our eyes only meeting occasionally.

Sometimes, sensing a stranger's unease,
I'm tempted to explain.
But the simple word autistic
triggers fears in the neurotypical,

Sometimes our world explodes,
and we turn inwards,
hiding until it's safe again.

Mostly we get by.

Gyppo

I'm going to risk going ahead and commenting on this post despite the warning that it's been over 120 days since it was posted. I like a write that takes me into someone else's world, and I applaud any insight that appeals to the reader's empathetic soul. You've done that with this write, thank you.

Thank you, Indar.

The 'label' comes so heavily weighted with negative assumptions and impressions that I tend not to use it.

I'm content to just be seen as 'a bit different'.  The sort of label that writers, artists, and probably all other types of 'creative' are usually comfortable with.

Gyppo