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Messages - Lin Treadgold

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Review My Writing - Getting Started / Re: One parapgraph
« on: August 21, 2019, 12:44:16 PM »
Thanks Mark well commented will take note. Im trying not to give anything away at this stage.  What happens later in the next pages, shows the reader the personality of Agnes and why she may be so secretive. 

Lin x

Review My Writing - Getting Started / Re: A start
« on: August 21, 2019, 12:43:19 PM »
Yes I have to agree with Mark on this one.  Too many similes.  Watch your spelling as well.

I would strongly suggest that you don't tell the story so much when you eventually set the scene.  Whenever you see the word WAS, you need to change it because it is 'telling' and not showing and 'showing' really does make a difference to the story. Also watch out for repeated words.  Suggest you invest in Grammarly or some other editing tool.

This paragraph for example:
The beauty of the sunset and the peace of his surroundings were marred by his morbid thoughts, gnawing at him like a beggar at a bone. His family had a history of foretelling doom and gloom, his mother had stopped reading tarot cards as all she could see were the deaths of her nearest and dearest. His grandfather had come up from Oxfordshire, some saying he was chased away because he brought bad luck to everyone who knew him.

You could try to edit thus:

He knew the family history of foretelling doom and gloom and recalled the words of his mother 'The Tarot cards tell too much about death in our family' His grandfather had been chased away because it was said he brought bad luck to everyone who knew him.  He gazed into the sunset and tried to dispel the thoughts of his  own destiny. 

So if you can bring the character to life more, rather than tell the reader the background, then you've got it! 

Review My Writing - Getting Started / Re: One parapgraph
« on: August 21, 2019, 10:49:29 AM »
Here's my first paragraph which I am struggling with just now.  How appealing is it and does it make you want to know more?

Agnes Brownlea’s deceit had caught up with her. A nagging doubt triggered memories of her earlier life and it was difficult to ignore. Her friends seemed to have understood her ways and no longer did she feel the need to flee or hide, but now she must put the past behind her, after all, the children were older and time changes people, doesn’t it? She hoped the doubts would stop chasing her.

This is a war time romance novel.


Review My Writing - Getting Started / Re: One parapgraph
« on: August 11, 2019, 04:14:56 PM »
I think I started this some years ago and it ran for ages.  I encouraged folks to write their first lines and asked the question would a publisher want to read on?

Writer's Talk / Re: The RNA Exeter Chapter
« on: August 09, 2019, 11:42:39 AM »
Yes of course we do and there are some very well known writers in our group.  I would be delighted for you to join us. Let me know when you are down this way.


Writer's Talk / Re: Disappointed
« on: August 09, 2019, 11:41:05 AM »
Thanks Dave for your mail.  I have replied.

Lin x

Writer's Talk / The RNA Exeter Chapter
« on: July 20, 2019, 03:23:27 PM »
We are always looking for new members in the Devon area.  If you live in and around Exeter do get in touch with me, we'd love to meet up with you for lunch every second Wednesday in the month throughout the year with a Christmas party in December.


Writer's Talk / Re: Disappointed
« on: July 20, 2019, 03:21:05 PM »
This is why I feel we have to either make this a place to play games or encourage serious writers and newbies to step up to the plate.

If this is a place for games only, then I really do not wish to be part of it any more. This saddens me a lot.  Please save the forum and tell the public we exist.

Lin  :(

Getting Published / Re: Falling Up
« on: July 07, 2019, 07:15:14 PM »
Good luck with this Geoff. 


Review My Writing - Getting Started / Re: My first writing experience
« on: July 07, 2019, 07:13:52 PM »
This contributor hasn't been back for his critique since April.


Writer's Talk / Re: Disappointed
« on: June 23, 2019, 05:06:34 PM »
I think times have changed and the only way to turn this around is to advertise on social media.  I keep saying this, but if our members are not willing to do it then I can't see us improving the situation.  Folks rely on social media so very much now.  Games are fine, but this a writer's forum and when I want to play games of a word nature, I download a decent app and play there.  I find some of the games here are somewhat childish.

We must get new writers to join us.  |However, if they don't know we exist, how can that happen? It's the new writers who need the help, and here we are with lots of experienced authors on the forum who are willing to give that all important critique with hardly any newbies. 

I cannot express strongly enough the need to advertise 'us'.  I am happy to do this. 

So who uses Twitter and Facebook?  Much of my book sales come from there, so why can't we encourage writers to join us?

Come of guys, you can do it.  Go into Twitter twice a week and tell the world we exist.  If you run a blog, mention us.  Can I have your pledge to have a go?


Writer's Talk / Re: Disappointed
« on: June 22, 2019, 10:48:18 AM »
I think with the advent of social media, many of these forums are no longer relevant.  They are fine for the the new writer, but the more experienced authors no longer need feedback and so on.  We are published and it's up to the publisher/agent to provide the feedback we need.  I strongly suggest that if you wish to keep the format, you concentrate a lot on helping new writers come here via social media.  I am happy to volunteer help as I have always done, but this is a not a forum for experienced authors.

I will stay a member and pop in from time to time, but I'm afraid I'm just not motivated any more. Games do not interest me.


Writer's Talk / Re: Disappointed
« on: June 07, 2019, 02:44:37 PM »
All I can ask you folks is to use Twitter and Facebook to advertise our cause.  I really don't come here that often any more because I'm not motivated to do so.  I will try to continue to comment, but some of those submitting posts, don't bother to come back anyway to read their updates.

I have a fondness for many of the 'long standing' members who I have got to know well over the years.  I think if you want to keep this forum going, you only have two choices.  To use social media to create interest or close it down. 

With any novel, if you want it to sell you have to advertise it.  The same applies here.  This forum will not sell itself.


Writer's Talk / Chudleigh Writing Festival
« on: June 01, 2019, 09:21:42 AM »
If you are on holiday or live close to Devon this year, the Chudleigh Literary Festival is  being staged on 10 July.  Please go to the web site for further information.  Hope to see you there.  It was great last year, we met Kate Adie.  Wonderful speaker.


An interesting piece of writing.  It would need editing, but for a first attempt, I suggest you got some talent there.  What do you intend with this?  I think I would need to know more about your intentions, is it a book, a short story or something else?


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