Author Topic: Analysis of Renee's essay - 750 words  (Read 2218 times)

theoldclassified

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Analysis of Renee's essay - 750 words
« on: April 03, 2018, 06:05:18 PM »
 Parth Ahuja
 ENG105
Final Essay

                       
Coping with mid-life crisis
With advancements in technology, People are becoming content with isolation. This is evident in the Renee’s article, “Leave Me Alone (But Don’t Leave Me)” , in which Lisa Renee explains her emotional instability through her mid-life crisis. The author presents a contrast between her pre and post crisis emotions. She goes further to discuss about how her emotional instability affected her sexuality, peace, and opinions. She reasons her emotional imbalance with scientific research, which shows how other females experience the same derangement that she does. Renee’s style uses emotionalism and deals with profound introspective challenges .
It is inevitable to notice that author’s relationships have been affected from the changes she gone through. She, for example, mentions that she is no longer the women she once was and she further explains how she’s been more appreciative of solitude and silence (Renee 11).
Lisa explains how the changes not only affected personal relationships, but also more distant relationships. She explains, with scientific research, how women become more inclined towards their needs in author’s age. It explains how author’s relationship with her (female) friends became more one-sided, and, eventually, ended(Renee 66). This tells readers how the author has decided to put herself before other people, now that she doesn’t have to care about them anymore. As a result of her sufferings, she prefers to be alone and secluded. It is obvious that author is suffering from what is more than physically observable, and decides to ostracize herself, which may further worsen her situation. Alonso et al. describes how relationships are more involved in mental health of mid-aged women than biological factors (Alonso et al. 7)
The author talks about how her situation makes her sexual life convoluted and saddening.She mentions how she’s yearning for the next chapter, where she can get rid of all her ‘falling apart’, which will further stop affecting her sex life (Renee 24). She mentions several factors that stew together only to affect mid-aged women. Things like medication, lower libido, and other factors add up to a mediocre sex life, in author’s opinion. To further author’s problems, It has been medically proved that sexual distress is common in mid-aged women and continues to decline as they grow older (Dennerstein et al. 28). It is evident from the tone, and examples, that author regrets losing her youth. She explains how she was happier with her younger-self, which yields regret.
After scrutinizing intricate and emotional changes in her life, Renee’s talks about linear changes in her personality and life. These passages mark a stark contrast in her life, for better or worse. The author mentions “My relationship with life itself has changed” (Renee 68). The author further uses contrasting words such as ‘bold and ‘cautious’, ‘blissfully oblivious and hyperaware’ (Renee 69). The usage of these words forces the reader to imagine the (older) writer. The author also mentions how she worries about things she never used to and fears the ramifications of her actions, which represents the author’s anxieties. The author was young and ambitious, and now she’s left with a monotonous life. The author is not the only one who feels the need to be more ambitious in her mid-life crisis. Spurling mentions in her article how being in middle aged brings out a desire to overachieve in ways that your body just should not (Spurling 20). Spurling’s similar feelings show us how it might be a common symptom, as they both go through the similar problems.
In all the chaos, the author reaches an unexpected contentment. The author describes how she attains “genuine contentment” (Renee 76) in all her suffering. She has stopped bothering herself with other’s opinions, which makes her a feel better about herself. She describes herself
 as an island, secluded from the rush of the city and modern life. This describes how the recent events haven’t necessarily been against her. Renee’s new life has brought her peace she would have never attained.
Renee’s whole world changes with these transitions in her life. However, she doesn’t regret having become more limited to herself. She introspects, and achieves peace and serenity in solitude, which she appreciates. To conclude, The author mentions that she might invite the reader to her island (Line ). This opens a window to slight possibility that she might allow other people to enter her life. It also makes author’s has wavering emotions.

Works Cited
Renee, Lisa. “Leave Me Alone (But Don't Leave Me) –  e Long Middle – Medium.” Medium, Medium, 2 Apr. 2018, medium.com/s/the-long-middle/leave-me-alone-but-dont-leave-me-37a13c786c43. Accessed 25 March. 2018.
Spurling, Anna. ”Mid life crisis.", 24 Oct. 2015, p. 10. Infotrac Newsstand, http:// link.galegroup.com.gate.lib.buffalo.edu/apps/doc/A432410110/STND? u=sunybuff_main&sid=STND&xid=6fa83e7b. Accessed 25 March. 2018.
Dennerstein, Lorraine, et al. "Sexual Function, Dysfunction, and Sexual Distress in a Prospective, Population‐ Based Sample of Mid‐Aged, Australian‐Born Women."  e Journal of Sexual Medicine, vol. 5, no. 10, 2008, pp. 2291-2299. Accessed 25 March. 2018.
Fernández-Alonso, Ana M., et al. "Life Satisfaction, Loneliness and Related Factors during Female Midlife." Maturitas, vol. 72, no. 1, 2012, pp. 88-92.
 

ST

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Re: Analysis of Renee's essay - 750 words
« Reply #1 on: April 03, 2018, 08:40:42 PM »
I am not your teacher/professor, and so don't know their criterias. I can only give you mine.

It read like an essay, interesting, a bit long, but I normally don't have to read essays, since prose is more my tea.

Still, I didn't find anything that stopped me solidly. I don't think you should use her first name, Lisa, I believe an formal Ms, Miss, Mrs (last name) once is enough to remind the reader who it is you are talking about. But you do not use your sentences as best they could be, and so you end up relying on those pronouns (she did this, she thought that) - once the focus is set, a reader can understand without always being reminded. Only when the focus comes diffused, then a more personal tag is needed.  Like where you do, but go too personal.

Quote
Lisa explains how the changes

Where I believe less is more.

Miss/Ms/Mrs (Lisa )Renee explains how the changes...

Even with the first name, because the last name and title are included, it remains your essay's pov. If that doesn't make sense, just ignore.

Other times the use of those pronouns punctuates their attachment to her. ie:

Quote
She goes further to discuss about how her emotional instability affected her sexuality, peace, and opinions.

When someone 'goes further to discuss..' it generally means that's because it is important to them, each instance is important for it's own reason to them. So....

She goes further to discuss about how her emotional instability affected her sexuality, her peace, and her opinions.

There are times when you use the pronouns but they don't add anything that isn't understood. If there is a word count, that becomes crucial. If possession of that moment is understood, then it doesn't need to be re-enforced.

I forgot to give you an example - so this has been edited in:

I'll use that same line.

The author presents a contrast between her pre and post crisis emotions, about how
those instabilities affected her sexuality, her peace, and her opinions.

*

Again, I can only give a prose pov.

Best wishes, in regards to your essay

ST
« Last Edit: April 03, 2018, 08:55:02 PM by ST »

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Re: Analysis of Renee's essay - 750 words
« Reply #2 on: April 04, 2018, 04:17:10 AM »
It is a wall o' text, very difficult to read on screen. A blank line between paragraphs is usual with non-fiction, maybe use a bold font for the title or at least a blank line before the body starts. And I am unsure why 'People' is capitalized in this sentence:

"With advancements in technology, People are becoming content with isolation."
"...Things I learned in a bobo jungle are things I never learned in a classroom ..."
― Not Merle Haggard

hillwalker3000

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Re: Analysis of Renee's essay - 750 words
« Reply #3 on: April 04, 2018, 09:51:58 AM »
I'm sorry, Parth. This looks like a school or college assignment so I'll leave it to your teachers to comment.

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« Last Edit: April 04, 2018, 09:53:35 AM by hillwalker3000 »