Author Topic: rewrite of old desert poem  (Read 7983 times)

indar9

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rewrite of old desert poem
« on: March 23, 2018, 06:02:01 PM »
Back Country

Past the foot of Joshua Tree,
facing east:
Hell's Kitchen lies
marked by scatterings
of wiry creosote;
occasional shacks
inhabited by hard-bit
desert rats.

The flat-pan floor
stretches to the distance,
buttes and mountains sway
in rising shimmers.
Old Route 66 dances
on subtle undulations
that remind
this was the bottom of the ocean

and will be again
some day.

Time compresses and expands;
the sky rolls from the west;
is burned off by the sun;
salt water will follow.

What then crawls
from the mud?
« Last Edit: March 23, 2018, 07:47:14 PM by indar9 »

Gino McWeeno

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Re: rewrite of old desert poem
« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2018, 10:52:55 PM »
I Really like it.
You have somehow made me feel nostalgic for something I have never known.

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: rewrite of old desert poem
« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2018, 04:25:27 PM »
I like it all bar "that remind". Can you use remind like that, don't you need to follow it with an  object?

Mark
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