Author Topic: Dream Girl - a pantoum  (Read 453 times)

Dansinger

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Dream Girl - a pantoum
« on: January 02, 2018, 09:24:28 PM »
Revision:

Dream Girl

I'm not the daughter she wanted
and cannot fulfill her hopes, her dreams
but I'm the son she's got
whether she likes me or not.

I cannot fulfill her hopeless dreams
of tinkling laughter and swirling skirts.
Whether she likes it or not
my voice enchants the fairer sex.

Their tinkling laughter and short skirts
delight both ear and eye.
My voice enchants the fairy
that comes to me in my dreams.

Both eye and ear delight
in the way she walks when
she whirls into my dreams
singing a song of love.

In the way she walks when
the dream escapes in unison
with the song of lost love
lies an echo of things gone by.

As the dream escapes, so too
flees the peace that was mine.
In an echo of things gone by comes
the whisper of a familiar voice.

The peace that was mine is gone.
I'm not the daughter she wanted but
now a familiar voice whispers,
You are the son I've got.





Love or lose

I'm not the daughter she wanted
and cannot fulfill her hopes, her dreams
but I'm the son she's got
whether she likes me or not.

I cannot fulfill her hopeless dreams
of tinkling laughter and swirling skirts.
Whether she likes it or not
my baritone enchants the fairer sex.

Their tinkling laughter and short skirts
delight both ear and eye.
My baritone enchants the fairy
that comes to me in my dreams.

Both eye and ear delight
in the way she walks when
she whirls into my dreams
singing a song of love.

In the way she walks when
the dream escapes in unison
with the song of lost love
lies an echo of things gone by.

As the dream escapes, so too
flees the peace that was mine.
In an echo of things gone by is
the whisper of a familiar voice.

The peace that was mine is gone.
I'm not the daughter she wanted but
now a familiar voice whispers,
You are the son I've got.
« Last Edit: January 04, 2018, 09:11:35 AM by Dansinger »
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indar9

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Re: Love or lose - a pantoum
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2018, 06:28:08 AM »
They're fun aren't they. Great subject and progression.

Dansinger

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Re: Dream Girl - a pantoum
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2018, 09:13:49 AM »
Thank you. They are. I like writing form poetry. I enjoy the challenge it provides.

Fiddled with it a bit. Revised version posted above now.

Gonna have a good look at your poem later today. Need to be fully awake first.
Work those fingers: write 250+ words a day
Write one poem a week