Author Topic: Why the fork?  (Read 35871 times)

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #210 on: September 27, 2019, 08:01:06 AM »
Stupid eyebrows may be contagious, Britain warned

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/stupid-eyebrows-may-be-contagious-britain-warned-20190926189344

Now, you probably think I'm going to launch into a diatribe about the stupidy of eyebrows of any sort let alone ones that have been quinced with, but I'm not. What I want to say is ... why the fork did I not know about this?! I was totally unaware that making your eyebrows look like hairy caterpillars was a thing.

As I pass through the barrier between middle and old age has my brain reached some pinnacle of its evolutionary development such that young people and their stupid antics simply get merged into a single condition of twatiness with no discernible specifics? Or is it a self-defence mechanism?  Would daft eyebrows be the final straw that pushed me over the edge into dribbling, gibbering, mental incredulity?

I suppose now I know about it I'm going to notice it if I have to leave the village in the future. I've trained myself not to LOL at stupid hair and trousers, can I add eyebrows to the list? Only time will tell.
If you like Bob the Alien he gets a good run out in my NaPoWriMo 2018. Download pdf here: http://www.scribblers-ring.co.uk/downloads/napowrimo_mhh_201804.pdf

DGSquared

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #211 on: October 06, 2019, 07:07:27 AM »
Stupid eyebrows may be contagious, Britain warned

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/lifestyle/stupid-eyebrows-may-be-contagious-britain-warned-20190926189344

Now, you probably think I'm going to launch into a diatribe about the stupidy of eyebrows of any sort let alone ones that have been quinced with, but I'm not. What I want to say is ... why the fork did I not know about this?! I was totally unaware that making your eyebrows look like hairy caterpillars was a thing.

As I pass through the barrier between middle and old age has my brain reached some pinnacle of its evolutionary development such that young people and their stupid antics simply get merged into a single condition of twatiness with no discernible specifics? Or is it a self-defence mechanism?  Would daft eyebrows be the final straw that pushed me over the edge into dribbling, gibbering, mental incredulity?

I suppose now I know about it I'm going to notice it if I have to leave the village in the future. I've trained myself not to LOL at stupid hair and trousers, can I add eyebrows to the list? Only time will tell.

I laughed for a long minute after that remark. What is a long minute, you ask? I'd say it's losing track of time while you chuckle excessivley and try not to wake the rest of the houshold.  ;D ;D ;D
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark. -Chinese proverb

Blondesplosion! ~Deb

Gyppo

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #212 on: October 09, 2019, 01:12:07 PM »
What the fork is a 'colourway'?  Is it some American abomination they use when colour - or even color if they absolutely insist - would be perfectly adequate?

I was looking online for a proper cotton mechanics overall.

'All our garments come in a wide variety of colourways.'

I sometimes see it in paint catalogues and will admit it's like a red rag to a bull.  The only thing worse is when I hear someone in a DIY store actually saying the damned word.

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #213 on: October 10, 2019, 06:37:15 AM »
I'd never heard of it, but it seems it might be useful  :o because it is a combination of colours so not synonymous with colour.

Overalls in variety of colours implies some yellow overalls and some pink overalls, but a variety of colourways implies some yellow overalls with pinks sleeves and some pink overalls with yellow sleeves.
If you like Bob the Alien he gets a good run out in my NaPoWriMo 2018. Download pdf here: http://www.scribblers-ring.co.uk/downloads/napowrimo_mhh_201804.pdf

Gyppo

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #214 on: October 10, 2019, 09:19:23 AM »
I see;-)  It's a non-specific code for Aesthetically Abhorrent, (AA).  I can see why some advertising creatures would shy away from using the AA definition.  That's even if the purblind pricks knew how to spell it ;-)

Spell Chick

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #215 on: October 10, 2019, 12:53:25 PM »
I have been watching a lot of Great Courses history stuff and we no longer have life styles but life ways. I think they like the way "way" sounds. I don't particularly care for it.
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Gyppo

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #216 on: October 12, 2019, 12:19:24 PM »
Life style definitely sounds better than life way.

Style is indefinable, but you generally know it when you see it ;-)

My daughter and I saw an XK8 Jaguar in a car park the other day.  4 litres of motor tucked unostentatiously away in a discrete and pleasingly contoured silvery/grey package.  No air scoops or go-faster stripes.  Aerodynamic without looking like something freshly tipped from a jelly mould.  Even the Jaguar logo on the front grille was quietly understated.

I can imagine one of my characters having such a car.
« Last Edit: October 12, 2019, 12:36:17 PM by Gyppo »

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #217 on: October 28, 2019, 01:21:03 PM »
My poor dentist was so so embarrassed but she fears the health and safety nazis more than she fears my ridicule.

Dentist: This time you are due x-rays. Is that Okay.

Mark: Yep.

Dentist: So you are happy for us to proceed?

Mark (wondering why she's not just getting on with it): Yes, that's fine.

Dentist (looking shame faced): I have to advise you that the process involves x-rays.

Mark: Really?! I'd never have guessed.

Why the fork does this happen?
If you like Bob the Alien he gets a good run out in my NaPoWriMo 2018. Download pdf here: http://www.scribblers-ring.co.uk/downloads/napowrimo_mhh_201804.pdf

Spell Chick

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #218 on: October 28, 2019, 02:09:04 PM »
A package of nuts had a warning on it "This contains nuts"

Apparently we are so busy teaching kids how to think, that we have totally given up on teaching them what to think, including the meaning of words.
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DGSquared

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #219 on: November 03, 2019, 05:35:36 AM »
What the fork is a 'colourway'?  Is it some American abomination they use when colour - or even color if they absolutely insist - would be perfectly adequate?

I was looking online for a proper cotton mechanics overall.

'All our garments come in a wide variety of colourways.'

I sometimes see it in paint catalogues and will admit it's like a red rag to a bull.  The only thing worse is when I hear someone in a DIY store actually saying the damned word.

I've never heard of a colorway, colourway, or colourwhey. ;-)
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark. -Chinese proverb

Blondesplosion! ~Deb

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #220 on: November 04, 2019, 07:03:54 AM »
The following irritation is hardly worthy of a why the fork. In fact, its more of a why the cocktail stick. And yet, it is important in that it demonstrates how everything is forked, even things where forking uselessness seems inconceivable.

Amazon are one of the largest provides of cloud computing. If you don't use their service, it may have passed you by, but with revenues over seven billion dollars, it is a substantial part of the business. And Amazon is a ruthlessly efficient business in many regards, so why the cocktail stick, do they send me an email each month saying Amazon Web Services VAT Invoice Available and providing a link so I can download it, when the sodding invoice is not available for at least 1 more day?

It's hard to imagine they could be so cocktail sticking useless! It's almost as if the cocktail stickers are doing it deliberately for a joke.

If you like Bob the Alien he gets a good run out in my NaPoWriMo 2018. Download pdf here: http://www.scribblers-ring.co.uk/downloads/napowrimo_mhh_201804.pdf

Spell Chick

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #221 on: November 04, 2019, 12:19:28 PM »
I have been watching with horror as the 39 dead people from outside London are examined and the cause of their death and their transport is being discovered bit by bit.

I keep wondering who cleaned up slavery and renamed it "human trafficking" like that makes it different. Buying and selling people is slavery. I'm unsure how cleaning up the verbiage is supposed to help in any way. Slavery was outlawed worldwide and yet the buying and selling of people continues under this sanitized name. It is disgusting and we, the world, need to be disgusted and make it stop.

I don't really know how to make it stop since slavery has been around as long as we have. Some stronger people figured out it was easier to capture a weaker person and make him or her do the work than to do the work themselves and it caught on like wildfire. But we really do need to make it stop. Somehow.
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Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #222 on: November 04, 2019, 07:13:26 PM »
From what I've read I inferred the victims were economic migrants trying to get to the UK to build a better life.
If you like Bob the Alien he gets a good run out in my NaPoWriMo 2018. Download pdf here: http://www.scribblers-ring.co.uk/downloads/napowrimo_mhh_201804.pdf

Spell Chick

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #223 on: November 04, 2019, 09:55:45 PM »
Our news keeps using "human trafficking" and it is that more than this specific case that Is bothering me. It is simply the latest iteration and the sanitized term takes much of the horror of slavery and hides it behind a cloak of smaller horrors.
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DGSquared

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Re: Why the fork?
« Reply #224 on: November 05, 2019, 05:55:50 AM »
Why the fork are so many American voters hellbent on getting another old career politician nominated for the DNC?
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." -Groucho Marx

A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which every passerby leaves a mark. -Chinese proverb

Blondesplosion! ~Deb