Why the fork?

[Gyppo]

I didn't watch it because I'd have to sign in.  I don't think I should have to sign in to see news.  I'm a crabby old git like that.

But I thoroughly enjoyed your description and would also be urging Bill to do the reporter a serious mischief.  Sadly most plastic knives aren't up to gelding someone.

[Amie]

I'm going to why the fork something I'm guilty of doing sometimes myself.

So, you send someone detailed instructions for doing something, and they ask you a question which is clearly listed in the instructions (sometimes in step 1)

I'd got roped into a moderate IT role (despite being not an it person at all), because despite working in an environment full of PhD scientists, no one understands how macros in Word work (except me I guess. Definitely the IT people don't). Finally I got agreement from IT that they would support this (after I explained to them how to do itand what the common pitfalls were  ) - and I sent around an email with an update, saying, "if you have any questions, please go to John first". Within an hour I had a question, in response to the email saying "go to John first", asking me to fix something for them.

I responded with, "the answer is in line one of the email below"

Wtf?

[Spell Chick]

Why don't companies test their "upgrades" before foisting them on the unwary public.

American Airlines at Sky Harbor Airport use a kiosk system to check in for flights. That worked okay although their directions were a little fuzzy and after reading them, I was still in error and another passenger helped me get the damn thing working. But I had to fly my luggage as well and for that, there is an extra fee.

I tried the charge card reader in all four possible directions, twice, and then it printed out a paper saying it didn't work. I had to stand in line to be told to go over to Becky and she said, "they are very sensitive and if you don't remove the credit card in the fashion the machine needs, it doesn't work." WTF?

I should be able to just swipe the damn card or perhaps, they could include a chip reader for my safety.

But Becky had the touch and got the card to work and then I had to go BACK and stand in the SAME LINE I had already stood in so my luggage could fly with me.

[Spell Chick]

I have hundreds and hundreds of fonts on my computer. It helps with my Cricut designs.

I signed up for a free bundle of stuff and would gladly have looked at their ads over and over again. Instead, a pop up appeared at random in the lower left corner of my computer on at least a daily basis. I tried to block it myself and that didn't work. So I went to the site with the only available recourse to delete my account. That was not an option. So I had to email them and ask THEM to delete me. They say they have.

I understand the need to advertise. I do not understand why anyone thinks that making it intrusive and annoying will help. I would still be looking at their advertising if it didn't pop up at inopportune moments. Sorry, Alex, whoever you are. But really, would you like ME popping up on YOUR computer daily?

[Gyppo]

It's a territorial thing, isn't it?  And rightly so.

My computer is my space.  If I choose to invite people in then that's fine.  If they knock on the door and I invite them in, and then find they're a nuisance then I'll deal with that as necessary.  But if they not only come in but bring all their ne'er-do-well pushy advertising friends then I get rather pissed off.

Both my daughters used to push themselves up between me and a book to get my attention sometimes, but you make allowances for special people, and they also learn when not to do it.

But pop up adverts, especially those which fill most of the page, are a sure fire way of ensuring I don't buy their bloody product ;-)  Either then or ever.

My pet hate is the 'Do you want to chat? (Speak to an advisor...) when I'm looking around a website for something like, for example, a washing machine.

I am perfectly capable of thinning out the vast array to something which may suit me and then asking.  I can't abide the equivalent of the pushy salesman in a shop.

Why isn't there the equivalent to a "Please go away, I'll approach you when I find something I want to ask about.  Until then let me look in peace or I'll walk out and never return again."  Sure, you can hit the

• and kill the importunate little bubble, but a few clicks later it will be there again.  (One of our live advisors is waiting to hear from you.)

Most irritating is 'Are you having trouble deciding?'   

There is an underlying assumption that you are totally useless, or gullible, and are incapable of making a decision for yourself.  That you are nothing but sales-fodder to be exploited.

It's as bad as a restaurant where they keep asking if you're enjoying your meal.  "I would be if it wasn't for the interruptions."  Trust me, if I wasn't I'd let you know.

Bloody sales pop-ups.

Gyppo

[Amie]

Today's Why The Fork:

So, contextual background: approximately 15 years ago, I worked for an organisation with very specific document management requirements. They hired contractors, developed a specification, a test system was developed within 6 months, a limited group of users beta-tested it for three months, they fixed all the bugs and rolled it out to the rest of the users, complete with training and after-sales support. Total time from initial contract awarded to fully operational system rolled out to all < 18 months.

Then about ten years ago, I moved to a new organisation in exactly the same line of very specific work. They needed the same document management system. I said, "Fantastic! I've used that, it's wonderful!". And here we are, ten years later, and the forking system still doesn't work, and doesn't even aspire to do a tenth of the functions the system at my previous company used to have, or to be accessible to a fifth of the desirable users. A few weeks ago, I asked for a very very simple report, and was told I'd have to wait until December before I could make a request. Then it was suggested to me that there were some default reports I could use -but when I directed my admin person to get this report, she was told that she'd have to make an appointment next month to discuss what reports are available now.

Why the fork has my company spent ££millions, and years, developing a system that is completely forking useless, when my previous company with the same requirement got the system out in 18 months (15 years ago I might add!) with nary a hitch? I am starting to hate our IT team. How the fork do they get paid to send out form emails saying, "get in the queue for this thing we promised you ten years ago"?

ps - senior management have recently decided to trash to whole system, £15M and ten years later, because they too know it downs work. But why the fork couldn't they get it to work when essentially the exact same company under a different name got it to work with no problem whatsoever? 15 Forking Years Ago!!! I just feel like our forking IT are take the mighty peas (to go with fork)

[Mark Hoffmann]

Amie

I can explain that for you. Society has evolved to the point where it needs about a million IT workers. But, there are only about 50,000 people with a suitable intellect. That leaves 950,000 cretins doing work they are not suited for.

This situation is fab if you are a bone idle thickie with an interest in IT as you can easily get recruited by an older bone idle thickie who is bluffing his way through life. But for the poor sods who need IT solutions, the situation is not so fab.

Things get worse each year as IT gets more complex. Add to this the shitstorm of regulation that even the best people have to wade through and it's amazing anything ever gets done.

[Spell Chick]

We are having four rooms painted by a profession because they all have higher than normal heights. Three rooms have 14 foot walls and the stair way is the full two stories high with the stairs in the way. We are willing to pay someone to do this for us.

Then we had to pick out paint. I got paint chip samples and then more samples and waded through a selection of colors numbering in the millions. Then we went and got paint samples made to test how it would look in the room. Why don't they make the paint samples the color of the damn paint?

I picked out what I thought would be a nice moss/forest green. It looked like nice moss/forest green on the card. It was called some sort of mossy green (who gets to name paint colors? I really want that job.). But when we put it on the wall, it was brown. Really brown. No green discernable in any way, shape, or form. It was brown.

So, I went back to the paint chips and found a not mossy or forest green. It is not the same blue tinted green currently on the walls. The countertop and flooring rather demand a green tint for the kitchen, so it is a more spring green. Lighter in color and with a yellowish cast.

The color I chose from the master suite was quite different from the color on the wall. But the paint was nearly indistinguishable. I changed color families altogether on that one.

What is so difficult for paintmakers to actually put the color of the paint formula onto a piece of cardboard so one can have a hope of picking out a suitable color of paint on the first round. Are they so dependent on selling the $4 samples that they plot to thwart color selection?

[Amie]

Powdered wheatgrass.

Why the fork does it even exist? Humans are not ruminants. We are not designed to eat grass.

[Heidi52]

I can answer that Spell Chick

Colors change in different lights and can change depending on the surface they are painted on. That's why a chip that is one color on a cardboard chip that is matte will look different on a wall which might be slightly smoother/shinier.

Also light plays a huge role. Florescents and LEDs and incandescent are all different wavelengths and colors will look differently under each of them. Even natural sunlight will change with the day and also with the year. Natural light is bluer in the spring and redder in the summer, for instance.

And what they are put next to will change our perception of a color. So if you are painting a brown green near a blue green, the brown green will read brown. But if you put that same brown green near a brown or a red or an orange it will read as green.

Believe it or not even size matters. Something can look one shade when it's just a couple of inches, but take on a whole different look when you have a whole wall or room of it.

Your own eyesight affects how you perceive different wavelengths as well. So where you might see brown, someone else might see green.

The paint manufacturers aren't trying to trick you, but color perception is so individual and so are the conditions in your home, that you couldn't ever get an exact match.

[Spell Chick]

Well, I do have six little pots of paint to play with and use to paint some craft type projects, so there is that benefit.

[Heidi52]

I had arts and crafts day today myself.

I'm tired of standing at baggage claim trying to tell if that's MY black samsonite suitcase among the scores of identical bags. I bought a cute little carry on bag that is black with white polka dots, so I bought a white paint marker and put a band of polka dots around the suitcase.

It came out well, not loud but definitely different.

[Gyppo]

The other evening I wandered down to the newsagents (WH Smith) in the ultra-commercial lobby of the hospital and picked up a motorbike magazine.  I'd run out of charge on my kindle and needed something to keep me from climbing the walls.

I took it to the till and the young lady there couldn't sell it to me because someone had torn off the barcode.

No code = no scanning, so the till can't tell her what it costs.  She was incapable of making a guess and entering it as 'miscellaneous'.  At the Co-o they would have haggled a bit, agreed a price, and rung it up as bananas.

So I bought a computer magazine instead, which was a total pile of crap.  (I'm going the enjoy putting it through the shredder.)

As I left the shop I looked over my shoulder and saw her putting the bike magazine back on the shelf.   Definitely a 'fork' moment.

[Spell Chick]

Why does the dust underneath the bed feel so different than the dust everywhere else? It is smoother, silkier. What is it doing under the bed for all that time?

And why does it have to collect there. The bed was over the floor, no dust should have been falling there, and yet it looks like two or three adults have decomposed and "turned to dust".

Why is keeping a house clean such a chore?

[Gyppo]

The bed was over the floor, no dust should have been falling there, and yet it looks like two or three adults have decomposed and "turned to dust".

Maybe the dust under the bed falls through and from  the bed rather than ordinary dust which falls from damn near everywhere.   If so then it is specifically bed dust, which can contain the last mortal remains of minute bedmites,  skin cells, etc.   Looked at this way your decomposing adult theory is about right.

We all lose skin cells from the surface all the time, although the replenishment slows down a bit as we get older and causes our skin to thin a little.  But it's something we don't like to think about.  Our brains are wired to 'not talk about it.'  Like all the microscopic little creatures which live on a human being no matter how clean they are.

If you think about it too long your skin starts to crawl.