New game: The Time Traveller's Persistent Cough

[Mark Hoffmann]

In the past, we have had a lot of fun with book and film titles. But how would they be re-imaged for the COVID generation?

The Time Traveller's Persistent Cough

On his return from the future, the time traveller complains about the blandness of his wife's cooking.

[Spell Chick]

The Mask, starring Jim Carrey who dons a special green mask and becomes the superhero we all need right now.

[Mark Hoffmann]

No Lockdown for Young Men

and its sequel

No Grandparents for Young Men

That's a bit bleak, so here's one for the kiddies: Snow White and the One Dwarf

[Spell Chick]

The Terminator

When they come back from the future, they never return to the early 2020s and even the robots have masks.

[Mark Hoffmann]

Harry Potter and the Meetings of Zoom

[Spell Chick]

Calm of the Wild

No one goes anywhere or does anything.

[Dylan di Vilde]

The Man in the Iron Mask

-he’s taking no chances

[Mark Hoffmann]

Dumb and Conspiracy Theorist

Dude Where’s My Respirator

[Spell Chick]

The Three Masketeers

they wear three at time just for safety

[Mark Hoffmann]

Mission Impossible

At the peak of the first lockdown, Ethan and his team have to find a store that still has toilet roll in stock.

[Gyppo]

veni, vedi, virus

I came, I saw, I died.

[Mark Hoffmann]

Fifty Shades of Brown

Well, what the hell did you expect to find in her knickers during a toilet roll shortage?! And don't be tempted to take off her bra. The beauticians have been shut for twelve weeks and her nipples are hairier than a hipster's chin.

[Spell Chick]

The Big Sleep

with lockdown, there is nothing else to do

[Mark Hoffmann]

Covid-19 84

Winston Smith, a civil servant is assigned the task of finding out why the population can't follow a set of simple rules. After 84 days he establishes it is because they are morons.

[Spell Chick]

The Mask Tricks


Some people can, amazingly, leave their masks on correctly for long periods of time. Sometimes lasting even an entire shopping spree. They are probably on a red pill. Maybe a blue one. Who knows.