Author Topic: Your favourite news headline of the day  (Read 13694 times)

Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #375 on: May 29, 2021, 07:38:33 PM »
Can't fault that ;-)

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #376 on: May 31, 2021, 08:56:55 AM »
Amazon offers 'wellness chamber' for stressed staff

Quote
Amazon plans to put "wellness chambers" in its warehouses so that stressed workers can sit inside and watch videos about relaxation.

Scratches head.

Quote
In a video shared on its Twitter account, Amazon said the "AmaZen" chamber would help staff focus on their mental health.

But it deleted the post after a wave of ridicule from other social media users.

All's right with the world.
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Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #377 on: June 11, 2021, 03:05:23 PM »
Do you know what would improve mental health worldwide, including at Amazon? - an outright ban on using the words Mental Health. 

The vast majority of those claiming a Mental Health problem are either just fed up, because who isn't sometimes, or they've just discovered that life isn't all rainbows on roses and whiskers on kittens and is going to need them to put in a bit of effort.  Instead of being handled with kid-gloves and probably a government grant, they should be told to man up: life contains challenges for everyone, the secret of success is tackling them instead of moaning about them. 

The generation above ours survived a world war; but it wasn't them who coined the Mental Health mantra, it was the cradle-to-the-grave baby-boomers!

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #378 on: June 11, 2021, 06:00:54 PM »
Covid: Unvaccinated most at risk from Delta variant

Glaringly obvious. Perhaps but wait:

Quote
Nearly two-thirds of people infected with the Delta variant, and more than half of those who have died with it, have not had a Covid vaccine at all, the latest official data suggests.

That's not so good, is it? so 1/3 of those infected have been vaccinated. Wasn't the vaccine supposed to be better than that?! And when they say 'more than half of those who died' I'd really like to know how much more than half. Because if it's just over half what they are actually saying is 'almost half of those who died HAD been forking vaccinated. But, if it is why over half, say three-quarters, then why not say that.

Either the figures were bad and they didn't want to scaremonger so decided to waffle OR (and this is more likely) they are useless cretins.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #379 on: June 12, 2021, 12:05:41 PM »
Either the figures were bad and they didn't want to scaremonger so decided to waffle OR (and this is more likely) they are useless cretins.

Could be either of those; but could also be just poor journalism, failing to track down the actual figures when a generalisation was handy.  The whole paragraph sounds iffy to me: as if someone was reporting some facts they didn't themselves understand. 

At face value, this is worrying.  It also seems to be in conflict with other official statements based on the same figures.  Don't ask me which is the right analysis.  But even if the vaccines are only offering 50% immunity - which is about the level the annual 'flu jab gives you - you're still a lot better with it than without it.

Spell Chick

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #380 on: June 13, 2021, 01:23:49 PM »
Or else half of the two-thirds and half of the one-third died, so still twice as many of the unvaccinated died.

If 100 people had this variant and 67 were unvaccinated and 33 of them died, and only 33 of them were vaccinated and 16 of them died, you would still be far better off and more likely to not die if you were vaccinated.

At least that is one way to work the numbers.
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Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #381 on: June 13, 2021, 06:38:13 PM »
Yeah but ... 33+16 = 49 dead. 33 were unvaccinated.  That's 67% and you would not describe that as more than half you'd describe it as more than two thirds.

Of course, it's sensible to have the vaccine.  :-* My fork is about the lack of clarity that the best journos on the planet (the BBC) are able to manage.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #382 on: June 13, 2021, 07:00:58 PM »
Medieval pointy-toed shoes led to bunion surge

Quote
Fashion-conscious medieval men paid the price for their love of pointy-toed shoes with a sharp increase in bunions, archaeologists have said.

About 27% of 14th and 15th Century skeletons found in Cambridge digs had the minor but uncomfortable deformity.

It was mostly found in the over 45s, suggesting youthful fashion choices caused problems in middle age.

I don't really understand fashion. I assume it's driven by sexual desire but I've never been fashionable and yet even I have had sex a few times.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #383 on: June 13, 2021, 08:33:32 PM »
Me neither.  When the gods of fashion retire to their strobe-lit temples, they stick pins in wax effigies of me.

I don't do fashion.  I never did, even when I was young.  I did clothes.  I want clothes to be comfortable, and suitable for the life I lead, ie easy to wash and preferably non-iron.  They have to be able to deal with dog-hair and horse dribble.  They have to stay put without constant adjustment.  My highest ambition is to look decent and reasonably tidy - and sometimes the second bit has to be interpreted generously.

I'm not (I don't think) a slob.  I just don't equate my value in the world with the cut of my clothes or how high a heel I can manage without falling over.  (Answer: not very high at all.  What most women think of as flat shoes could still give me problems.)

Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #384 on: June 14, 2021, 01:31:52 AM »
This had just made me realise I haven't ironed any item of my own clothing for several years.  Not even my 'best black' for weddings and funerals.

I used to iron the occasional thing for Mum when she could no longer do it herself, but my iron has been tucked away - just in case - since I moved to the bungalow so that's three years.  This is also the time when I sold  (1) and gave away (1) the two ironing boards I'd inherited.

As for winkle-picker shoes, or even chisel toed boots...  Where's the appeal, or logic, behind cramming your feet into something obviously too small.

If, as the fashion conscious insist, 'clothes make a powerful statement about the wearer', why would anyone want to tell the world they're a gullible idiot?

Spell Chick

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #385 on: June 14, 2021, 02:50:45 PM »
I use the Gilda Radner fashion sense. She was quoted as saying that she based her clothing choices on what didn't itch.

I do tend to LIKE clothes, but only comfortable ones. And my stuff always matches, top and bottom. But I'm not wearing pinching shoes or uncomfortable underwear to make the outerwear look better.

I do have some very nice, comfortable flats that aren't actual tennis shoes. So that's maybe a fashion thing.
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Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #386 on: June 14, 2021, 03:15:05 PM »
Our local paper recently announced the appointment of a New Crime Boss for Hampshire.

I cannot be the only person who thinks this makes the incoming Police Commissioner sound more like a Mafia Godfather type figure.

Mind you, referring to her as the Crime Commissioner, another egregious bit of journalistic inexactitude, doesn't work either.

Look at it this way...  If someone commissions me to write an article, they have employed me to get the thing written.

So what does any reasonable and logical understanding of our language imply a Crime Commissioner does?  Does she order bespoke robberies and assaults?  Or just issue a 'general licence' for wrongdoing?

I suppose it would help the clear-up rates if the 'thin blue line' had advanced knowledge of what was going to happen.

Gyppo


Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #387 on: June 15, 2021, 09:06:06 AM »
Yup, crime boss means only one thing, and it isn't a senior police officer.

Why are people so addicted to special, sexy titles?  Supremo of this, Czar of that, Commissar of the other? 

I'm always amused by the parliamentary rankings.  You get a ministry, you become a Minister.  But if you get a really good ministry you become a Secretary of State.  You'll be helped (or hindered, depending on your point of view) by Assistant Secretaries and Under Secretaries, and a Permanent Under Secretary who'll still be there after you've got your marching orders.  But can any of these Secretaries do shorthand and type out a letter?  Can they hell.  For that, they need a secretary...

Spell Chick

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #388 on: June 15, 2021, 03:07:01 PM »
Back in the old days, before women were permitted in the workforce after they married, there were not enough women to be both teachers and secretaries and god alone knows that the men weren't going to hang out with a bunch of kids. So the women became teachers and men were the secretaries. They could type and often worked an an amanuensis for the boss who wasn't very good at writing. So the Secretary needed a secretary, but it might not be a she type. Pink collar workers weren't a thing back then. 
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Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #389 on: June 15, 2021, 03:20:05 PM »
Unidentified stones spark hopes of a diamond rush

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It comes after a man in dug up a crystal-like stone in an open field and put out word of the discovery.

The stone's haven't been analysed by geological experts yet, and authorities have asked people on site to leave so that a proper investigation can be carried out.

 ::)

Quote
The provincial government also shared a video of the area on twitter, expressing concern over what it has called a "diamond rush." They tweeted that they had "noted with concern, the reports of illegal mining activity taking place at KwaHlathi outside Ladysmith."

How big a moron do you have to be not to realise that using twitter like that will make things worse?

I do despair of mankind.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

The Severed Hands of Oliver Olivovich
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