Author Topic: Your favourite news headline of the day  (Read 10240 times)

Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #345 on: April 02, 2021, 09:55:06 AM »
It's a case of buyer beware, isn't it?  If you think the label is worth paying for, pay extra and enjoy.  If you're stingey, like me, you're not even sure the garment is worth paying for, until you're convinced the holes in the old one render it unusable.

The one that really gets me is the art market.  "Ooh, it's an Old Master - it's worth a hundred and twenty-six million pounds!"  (And I don't think I invented that figure.)  Well, the Old Master who painted it probably went hungry a lot of the time, and anyway he's been dead too long to care now.  And the painting is what it is: paint and canvas.  And skill - but the skill is regularly duplicated by forgers, so well that even the experts can't be sure who painted what.  So what exactly are the connoisseurs paying for?  Wouldn't it be money better spent if they sought out living artists who were struggling to make enough to live on, and spread the money around among them?

Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #346 on: April 02, 2021, 11:58:53 AM »

But if journos are going to start pointing out to Joe Moron that he was conned and make him feel foolish then no one wins. The manufactures make less money and Mr Moron loses his aspirations and spirals down into despondency, eventually ending up sleeping on a park bench drinking meths.

But will he buy premium 'surgical grade' methylated spirit in glass bottle with a proper cork, or cheap stuff made in China, which is probably recycled urine - from any source available -  with a splash of colour?

Spell Chick

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #347 on: April 02, 2021, 02:54:59 PM »
There is a chance that the cheaper coat really is less wonderful than the more expensive one. There is a chance that the more expensive one uses better materials both for the coat and the lining and the zipper and the entire thing and just makes their own lesser quality knock off instead of letting China do it for them.

Of course, there is also the chance that they are exactly the same and you are paying only for the name on the label.
Imperfect Reason My thoughts, such as they are.

Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #348 on: April 02, 2021, 08:14:05 PM »
Labels...

I knew a Hells Angel who took great delight in showing the Harrod's label on the inside of his filthy stinking denim 'originals' when people were playing 'one up'.  It came from a very 'tired' tweed jacket from an Oxfam shop.  But he carefully sewed it into his denims.

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Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #349 on: April 02, 2021, 08:58:43 PM »
LOL
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Dansinger

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #350 on: April 02, 2021, 09:34:27 PM »
Prime minister denies lying but won’t reveal who warned him about Omtzigt comment.

(In fact, I watched part of the soap play out in real time, and for a moment there I honestly thought Bill Clinton must have been our PM's greatest idol.)  ;D

https://www.dutchnews.nl/news/2021/04/prime-minister-denies-lying-but-wont-reveal-who-warned-him-about-omtzigt-comment/

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Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #351 on: April 02, 2021, 09:44:05 PM »
Can you imagine the dystopian reality of politicians not lying!!??!!
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Dansinger

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #352 on: April 02, 2021, 10:01:58 PM »
That would be really hard to fathom.
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Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #353 on: April 05, 2021, 09:41:26 AM »
Man beaten up by furious octopus in Australia

They don't say why it was furious. Maybe it was nothing personal. If the octopus had heard what arseholes humans are, it was likely just taking an opportunity to beat one up on behalf of all aquatic life.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #354 on: April 05, 2021, 05:08:33 PM »
It was furious because the man invaded its personal space in his effort to get a selfie with an octopus.  I don't know this for sure, but it seems unlikely the octopus came ashore, caught a bus and went to the man's house in order to beat him up.  He was probably an eco-tourist, who thought the wildlife would be as keen to see him as he was to see it.  Now he knows better. 

The sad thing about octopi (octopuses?) is how short their lives are.  Despite having impressive brain power, they only live between one and two years.  Oh, and they can only manage liquidised food, because their alimentary tract goes straight through their brain.  And you think you've got problems...

Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #355 on: April 05, 2021, 05:28:49 PM »
Oh, and they can only manage liquidised food, because their alimentary tract goes straight through their brain.

Jo, I can think of a few people who may share this physical oddity.  It would at least explain some of what comes from their mouths.

Poor bloody octopus.

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #356 on: April 08, 2021, 07:34:07 AM »
Boohoo to probe price differences for same clothes

Quote
The same coat sold by Coast is more expensive than Dorothy Perkins despite both being owned by Boohoo.

Do the great unwashed really think that price is driven by value? Have they all fallen for the aphorism: you get what you pay for? And the bigger question, should the price of something be linked to its value, OR are sellers within their rights to trick simpletons into paying more.

In the drinks industry, they have the concept of premium packaged products. Take some mass-produced beer and put some in big plastic bottles and sell it cheap and put some in stylish glass bottles, give it a fancy name that will appeal to Joe Moron and sell it for ten times the price. Everyone is happy, especially Joe Moron who's feeling of superiority at not drinking the crap that comes in the plastic bottles is well worth the extra he paid.

But if journos are going to start pointing out to Joe Moron that he was conned and make him feel foolish then no one wins. The manufactures make less money and Mr Moron loses his aspirations and spirals down into despondency, eventually ending up sleeping on a park bench drinking meths.

And now:

Quote
Boohoo said these coats were part of an issue that arose when the coronavirus pandemic hit.

LOL
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #357 on: April 08, 2021, 07:47:19 AM »
Hunt for men who helped friend mail himself home
Quote
Were you in Australia in 1965? Did you help a homesick Welsh friend send himself home in a crate?

He couldn't afford the air fare but he was desperate to get home.

The journey proved much more hazardous than he had imagined.

I've always pitied people with a lack of imagination. Can you imagine not being able to imagine being classed a dimwit for failing to imagine the risk of being sent around the world in a crate?



Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #358 on: April 17, 2021, 08:32:28 AM »
Lockdown leads to shortage of garden gnomes

I don't want to read the story because whatever the reason they give for the shortage, it is bound to be a disappointment. Any suggested reasons?
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #359 on: April 17, 2021, 09:18:45 AM »
Certainly.  Gnomes, like the rest of us, haven't been allowed to meet up in gardens until recently.  They've retired to their libraries to catch up on their reading.  A coffee-table book entitled "The Stately Gnomes of England" is a perennial favourite; others are "Gnome Sweet Gnome", "Gnome-man's Land" and "Keep the Gnome Fires Burning".