Author Topic: Your favourite news headline of the day  (Read 11138 times)

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #30 on: August 24, 2020, 05:19:04 PM »
I think it's a shrew with a good memory.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Spell Chick

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #31 on: August 24, 2020, 05:51:55 PM »
So that's why it was so good at hiding!
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Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #32 on: August 24, 2020, 07:41:43 PM »
The closest relative of the elephant - other than another elephant - is not, as you might suppose, the rhinoceros or hippopotamus but a shrew-like animal called the rock hyrax.  Just goes to show that truth is stranger than fiction, even when it's coming from writers.

Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #33 on: August 24, 2020, 08:01:08 PM »
Just goes to show that truth is stranger than fiction, even when it's coming from writers.

Truth doesn't give a damn whether it's believed or not.  It knows it's the real thing.

Fiction, on the other hand is desperate to be believed because it knows itself only too well.  It wouldn't exist unless there was someone who was at least 'willing to suspend their disbelief'.

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #34 on: August 25, 2020, 08:25:45 AM »
The son who is trumpier than Trump

Poor bastard. Though I suppose at least they are not claiming he's the trumpest trump, just a bit trumpier.

Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

The Severed Hands of Oliver Olivovich
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Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #35 on: August 25, 2020, 12:05:19 PM »

Truth doesn't give a damn whether it's believed or not.  It knows it's the real thing.

Fiction, on the other hand is desperate to be believed because it knows itself only too well.  It wouldn't exist unless there was someone who was at least 'willing to suspend their disbelief'.

Years ago, I read some excellent advice to would-be novelists.  It was that, in order to be successful, fiction has to convince people that the events described not only could have happened that way but would have happened that way.  It's still a good filter to apply to your work.

Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #36 on: August 25, 2020, 03:58:27 PM »
Sound about right to me, Jo ;-)

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #37 on: August 26, 2020, 08:16:26 AM »
Vitally important children return to class - PM

I assume the less important ones return in the morning.  :-\
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

The Severed Hands of Oliver Olivovich
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Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #38 on: August 26, 2020, 09:30:40 AM »
Like it, Mark!  All you have to do now is convince me that there are some vitally important children...

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #39 on: August 26, 2020, 10:43:49 AM »
Perhaps the ones used to clean the chimney?
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Spell Chick

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #40 on: August 26, 2020, 01:29:43 PM »
My sister, the kindergarten teacher, has noticed that each parent thinks their own child is the best child in all the world. I guess we all need someone in our corner.
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Spell Chick

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #41 on: August 29, 2020, 02:28:53 PM »
3-Year-Old Clinging to Unicorn Float Is Rescued From Sea in Greece

She was about a third of a mile out to sea, having drifted away from shore. I can't imagine her fear and her courage and her gratefulness. What a little warrior.

And the captain of the boat that rescued her, what a marvel. It was huge and he had to get close to her without knocking her off.

I know it isn't ludicrous or ridiculous, but it is heartwarming.
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Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #42 on: August 29, 2020, 02:39:08 PM »
That's put a smile on my face ;-)

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #43 on: August 30, 2020, 07:27:33 AM »
Poetry found in a news headline. My line breaks to give it a Yamrus feel.

they
wanted to drown me
at birth

now

I'm a poet


No idea what it's about. I didn't read the article. My instant reaction was ... opportunity missed.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

The Severed Hands of Oliver Olivovich
UK - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B087SLGLSL
US - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087ZN6L6V

FB Author Page - https://www.facebook.com/Mark-Hoffmann-Writer-102573844786590

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #44 on: September 05, 2020, 08:55:00 AM »
Civil servants must get back to offices quickly
Quote
The government has urged Whitehall bosses to "move quickly" to get more staff back into the office.

Mark's analysis.

You may think this has been triggered by a delivery of new clipboards that need to be counted and put away, but in fact there is a more significant ecominc issue. It seems that these people who do pointless jobs also buy things they don't need while they are working in towns and cities.

The industrial body that supports the businesses that sell stuff that no one needs, is very concerned. And the government is even more concerned. If the people who do pointless jobs, don't go to work in the city and buy the stuff no one needs, then the people who sell the stuff no one needs won't pay enough tax to enable the government to pay the people who do pointless jobs. And that's bad.

Of course some of the people who do pointless jobs will die because they went back to work. But I seems that is not as important was collecting tax on the sale of stuff no one needs.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

The Severed Hands of Oliver Olivovich
UK - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B087SLGLSL
US - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B087ZN6L6V

FB Author Page - https://www.facebook.com/Mark-Hoffmann-Writer-102573844786590