Author Topic: Your favourite news headline of the day  (Read 8227 times)

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #285 on: January 16, 2021, 06:00:27 PM »
Joe the pigeon spared by Australia after leg tag found to be fake

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A pigeon that was to be murdered by authorities in Australia after reportedly crossing the Pacific Ocean has been saved after officials found he was "highly likely" to be a local bird.

Joe the pigeon made headlines around the world after he was found in a garden in Melbourne wearing what appeared to be a US identification.

The bird was to be murdered for breaching Australia's quarantine rules.

But he was granted a reprieve amid doubts about the origin of his leg tag.

"Following an investigation, the department has concluded that Joe the Pigeon is highly likely to be Australian and does not present a biosecurity risk," Australia's Department of Agriculture, Water and the Environment announced on Friday.

"The department is satisfied that the bird's leg band is a fraudulent copy of a legitimate leg band," the statement said, adding that no further action would be taken against the bird.

No one has explained why the pigeon decided to wear a fake tag and pretend to be a US citizen.
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Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #286 on: January 16, 2021, 07:14:43 PM »
Maybe he thought it would impress the chicks ;-)

It's an intriguing story though.

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #287 on: January 17, 2021, 08:13:23 AM »
Statues to get protection from 'baying mobs'

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The government is planning new laws to protect statues in England from being removed "on a whim or at the behest of a baying mob", Communities Secretary Robert Jenrick has said.

Silent mobs, on the other hand, can carry on abusing statues willy-nilly. Provided, of course, they are not being whimsical. Here's a checklist for you to follow before heading about to destroy a statue:

1. Have a firm plan and avoid whimsy at all costs.
2. Perhaps consider keeping the numbers down to below mod thresholds. A group of two or three will be ideal.
3. Do not under any circumstances bay. And just to be on the safe side, it's probably best not to bark, meow, moo or ba.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #288 on: January 17, 2021, 08:52:05 AM »
It didn't take a baying mob to bring down Nelson's statue in O'Connell Street, Dublin, in 1966.  Whoever did it was probably very quiet until the big bang.

Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #289 on: January 17, 2021, 09:18:08 AM »
There was actually a song about it.  Of course, the Irish will write a song about anything - success, failure, anything.  The thing to remember is, the victors write the history, the vanquished write all the best songs.

Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #290 on: January 17, 2021, 10:53:44 AM »
I remember the song.  There were several songs about it.  The one I half remember isn't the one which topped the Irish music charts for  eight weeks.  It did the rounds of folk clubs, alternately amusing and scandalising different parts of the audience.

The chorus went something like...

"So remember brave Lord Nelson, Boys,
he had never known defeat,
and for his reward they stuck him up
in the middle of O'Connell street."

In the final chorus  they 'blew him up' instead of stuck him up.

History has many different shades.

Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #291 on: January 17, 2021, 02:47:31 PM »
We are soon going to be statue less here in the states. I don't know how long it is going to take to remove the Washington Monument or the Lincoln Memorial, but I'm sure the two men are offensive to someone somewhere and need to be removed because  - well - you know - history and stuff.
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Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #292 on: January 17, 2021, 05:47:47 PM »
Why can't some people just accept that history has already happened.  Trying to erase it by knocking down a few monuments and making people scared to talk about it in case they get tarred with the same brush won't make it go away.  In my opinion it causes more trouble, not less.

« Last Edit: January 18, 2021, 10:20:17 AM by Gyppo »

Jo Bannister

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #293 on: January 18, 2021, 09:39:16 AM »
The thing to do with history is remember it and learn from it, not to pretend it never happened. 

Statues? - slightly different.  Statues are erected to celebrate someone, and some people - even if they were celebrated in their own time - aren't worthy of celebration now.  If I had to walk every day past a statue of a man who made his fortune as a slave-trader, I think I'd have been hauling on the rope too.

It isn't fair to judge historical personages by standards which have changed exponentially between their day and ours.  But some things have always been wrong, and weren't made right by the fact that they were enormously profitable.  Owning slaves was wrong.  Trading in slaves was wrong.  And raiding your neighbours' village to take slaves to sell as a cash crop was wrong too.  Nobody comes out of the slavery issue well, except the abolitionists.

But debating these matters is usually the best approach.  Who knows, someone may actually learn something.

Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #294 on: January 18, 2021, 10:41:48 AM »
But debating these matters is usually the best approach.  Who knows, someone may actually learn something.

Well said, Jo.

Sadly most peoples idea of 'debate' is just trying to state their own entrenched position more loudly, forcefully, and widely than the other side.  A good debate usually has some kind of result, even if it's just a better understanding of the other side's viewpoint.  You don't have to sacrifice ground to start understanding the others.  That comes after both sides have found some kind of common ground between them to build upon.

If I had to walk every day past a statue of a man who made his fortune as a slave-trader, I think I'd have been hauling on the rope too.

I wouldn't be in that mob, even when I agree with them.  But I'd be happy to advise on the best rope and knots for the job and possibly even give it to them ;-)

Gyppo
« Last Edit: January 18, 2021, 06:48:22 PM by Gyppo »

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #295 on: January 18, 2021, 03:24:39 PM »
Conspiracy Theorists Think Donald Trump Was Communicating in Morse Code in Video Address

A man who can barely speak intelligibly and who can't type correctly, can suddenly transmit a second message in Morse Code as he speaks? Did he just become Superman or something?
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Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #296 on: January 18, 2021, 04:43:50 PM »
The bastards have stolen that from my book! Foxgang (the dwarf) bats his eyelids in morse code to try and communicate with young Sid but instead, Johhny Toobad assumes he's having a fit.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #297 on: January 18, 2021, 07:11:53 PM »
Conspiracy Theorists Think Donald Trump Was Communicating in Morse Code in Video Address

"A Morse, A Morse.  My kingdom for a Morse!"

A good conspiracy theory is one which makes you consider, even if only for a nano-second, that it could be true, even if extremely unlikely.  Like the aliens at Roswell, if you accept the possibility of extra-terrestrials in the first place.

The claim that the orange bloody weirdo can communicate in any coherent form is already pushing the limits of credibility. Trying to build a theory on such an improbable base is like suggesting Lord Lucan, Amy Johnson and Amelia Earhart  were photographed barbecuing the stolen racehorse Shergar in the company of Princess Diana.  Accompanied by music played by Glen Miller.

Mark Hoffmann

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #298 on: January 19, 2021, 12:56:33 PM »
A wristband that tells your boss if you are unhappy

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The wearable technology, called a Moodbeam, allows your employer to track your emotional state.

The gadget, which links to a mobile phone app and web interface, has two buttons, one yellow and one blue. The idea is that you press the yellow one if you are feeling happy, and the blue one if you are sad.

And if you are feeling sad your boss has one more thing to worry about. So he presses his blue button ... but no one cares. Meanwhile, the sneaky bastards who invented (if you can call it invention) the Moddbeam sit back pressing their sodding yellow buttons as they watch the cash roll in.
Writing humour is the hardest thing since sliced bread.

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Gyppo

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Re: Your favourite news headline of the day
« Reply #299 on: January 19, 2021, 03:15:13 PM »
Now that is intrusive.  My mood when I was at work was none of my boss's business.  As long as I was there and doing my job well that was all he needed to know.  Whether I was happy or feeling savagely murderous was irrelevant to anyone except myself.

What's he going to do about it?  Tell me a joke to cheer me up.  Maybe break into a misguided and even more irritating song and dance routine.

I can think of a few bosses who would probably say to themselves "If he's got time to press a yellow button he's not busy working."

Gyppo
« Last Edit: January 19, 2021, 10:20:12 PM by Gyppo »