Author Topic: My muse has fled  (Read 2788 times)

Dansinger

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5103
  • Kudos: 9
  • Home is where the cat is
    • View Profile
    • Daan Katz
My muse has fled
« on: June 08, 2020, 09:36:55 PM »
I have been unhappy for most of my life. I'm not complaining; merely making an observation.

These last few years, the unhappiness is no longer there. Sure, like everyone else, I have my unhappy moments but for the most part, I'm happy - for the first time in my life. It's strange, how becoming disabled, getting a divorce, and having to start over should result in happiness rather than even more unhappiness, but somehow, that's what happened.

There's a drawback though. (Isn't there always?)

My muse fed on my unhappiness and now that the unhappiness has gone, so has she. I miss her. I don't miss the unhappiness - I'm no masochist - but I do wish I could entice my muse to come back to me.

I know I can still write. Technically. It's just that it seems like I've no stories left to tell. The old, sad stories seem obsolete and hollow now, but I don't know how to write happy ones. I don't even like them.

So for now, I'm just writing non-fiction, which feels wrong. As if I'm not really writing, but I guess at least I'm keeping those fingers busy. So be it.

For now.
Daan Katz, Author - Where the Magic Happens
The Elven Curse - Kings, priests, elves, and a woman in a wheelchair

Gyppo

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12843
  • Kudos: 36
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
    • View Profile
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2020, 10:51:48 PM »
Your muse probably just needs time to adjust to your new life.

But contentment is sometimes the enemy of creativity.  Having a regular pension and relatively modest needs has slowed me down a bit.

I'm not saying you have to be miserable to be creative, but it often seems to come from being slightly unsettled.  If there's something not quite right in your life, especially if it's something you can't do anything about, then your mind will create something else you can control.

You've recently got a new home, and decorating and fitting it out will have used up your creative energies for a while.

Sooner or later you'll see or hear something which will prompt you to start asking the 'what if' or 'how come' questions again.

Gyppo
« Last Edit: June 09, 2020, 02:10:42 PM by Gyppo »

Dansinger

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5103
  • Kudos: 9
  • Home is where the cat is
    • View Profile
    • Daan Katz
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #2 on: June 09, 2020, 09:33:08 AM »
That's certainly true, Gyppo. I even hardly find the time to play the piano and sing. Or read. So now I'm putting these three things on my ToDo list every day. Then, even if I only get ten minutes of each activity done, I can cross those off and won't feel like I'm becoming some stuffy bureaucrat. (As if that could ever happen anyway, hah!)

My writing used to be my escape from reality. The worlds I created were the worlds where I would want to live, even if they were far from perfect, they were still better than what I had - if only because I was in control. But now there's no need for escape.

I do think I'll learn to write from my new, happy place. It's the adjustment that's the hardest bit. I just haven't been able to attract a muse that feeds on happiness yet, but I have to trust she'll find me. Somehow. Some day.
Daan Katz, Author - Where the Magic Happens
The Elven Curse - Kings, priests, elves, and a woman in a wheelchair

Jo Bannister

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2386
  • Kudos: 12
  • If this was easy, anyone could do it
    • View Profile
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #3 on: June 09, 2020, 09:45:24 AM »
You're also in (I think) or at least approaching that age-group which consistently qualifies as the happiest time of life.  Not your school-days (dear God, I wish someone had told me that was a myth!) or your high-earning years, or the time when you're wealthy enough but still fit enough to travel extensively.  Independent studies repeatedly show that it's people whose bodies are getting a bit creaky and whose futures are getting a bit short, and whose pasts are getting a bit hazy, who report feeling happiest.

What's not a myth is that starving (slightly) in garrets (with adequate heating) is good for artists.  Not being sure where your next meal (or possibly your next meal out) is coming from focuses the creative mind wonderfully!

Accept and enjoy your new happiness.  You probably will want to write again at some point; but how much would it matter if you didn't?  Haven't you already got the tee-shirt?
« Last Edit: June 28, 2020, 03:13:31 PM by Jo Bannister »

Dansinger

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5103
  • Kudos: 9
  • Home is where the cat is
    • View Profile
    • Daan Katz
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #4 on: June 09, 2020, 03:47:26 PM »
I'm not exactly sure which age-group that would be, but I'm definitely in it or nearing it. That much I can say with a 100% certainty.

And don't get me started on those supposedly blissful school-days. They were the worst years of my life, without a trace of doubt. Those were the years I was usually passively suicidal, and occasionally actively suicidal. They were worse than the years I spent as an in-patient in a mental hospital, where - looking back - I didn't even belong.

Also, which tee-shirt is that?
Daan Katz, Author - Where the Magic Happens
The Elven Curse - Kings, priests, elves, and a woman in a wheelchair

Jo Bannister

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2386
  • Kudos: 12
  • If this was easy, anyone could do it
    • View Profile
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #5 on: June 09, 2020, 04:04:30 PM »
The Been There, Done That tee-shirt, of course!  When I was contemplating retirement a couple of years ago, I mentioned on here that I wasn't sure how I'd describe myself if I did.  And someone said, As a writer, naturally.  You don't stop being a writer just because you've put your pen down. 

Dansinger

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5103
  • Kudos: 9
  • Home is where the cat is
    • View Profile
    • Daan Katz
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #6 on: June 09, 2020, 04:14:01 PM »
Thanks. Yes, I definitely earned that tee-shirt.

You don't stop being a writer just because you've put your pen down.

I like that. A lot.
Daan Katz, Author - Where the Magic Happens
The Elven Curse - Kings, priests, elves, and a woman in a wheelchair

Gyppo

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12843
  • Kudos: 36
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
    • View Profile
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #7 on: June 09, 2020, 06:25:34 PM »
It's too much to print on a t-shirt really, unless you want people to come up close to read it, which I suspect most who qualify wouldn't want to encourage.  But...

I looked into the abyss.
The abyss looked back into me,
shook its head and slunk away.
Saying "I'm not messing with that.
"

Dansinger

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5103
  • Kudos: 9
  • Home is where the cat is
    • View Profile
    • Daan Katz
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2020, 06:50:49 PM »
It is nice though. Very apt.
Daan Katz, Author - Where the Magic Happens
The Elven Curse - Kings, priests, elves, and a woman in a wheelchair

Jo Bannister

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2386
  • Kudos: 12
  • If this was easy, anyone could do it
    • View Profile
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #9 on: June 10, 2020, 10:49:34 AM »

I looked into the abyss.
The abyss looked back into me,
shook its head and slunk away.
Saying "I'm not messing with that.
"

Now I know what I want on my tombstone!

Dansinger

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5103
  • Kudos: 9
  • Home is where the cat is
    • View Profile
    • Daan Katz
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #10 on: June 10, 2020, 11:41:39 AM »

I looked into the abyss.
The abyss looked back into me,
shook its head and slunk away.
Saying "I'm not messing with that.
"

Now I know what I want on my tombstone!

That's so romantic!
Daan Katz, Author - Where the Magic Happens
The Elven Curse - Kings, priests, elves, and a woman in a wheelchair

Dansinger

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5103
  • Kudos: 9
  • Home is where the cat is
    • View Profile
    • Daan Katz
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #11 on: June 27, 2020, 09:33:32 PM »
I think she's back. My lovely little muse. And she has such lovely ideas. Introduced me to Leks too. Guy with a prosthetic leg, glass eye and several fingers and teeth missing. Now she has me wondering whatever happened to that poor chap.  ;D
Daan Katz, Author - Where the Magic Happens
The Elven Curse - Kings, priests, elves, and a woman in a wheelchair

Gyppo

  • Global Moderator
  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 12843
  • Kudos: 36
  • I've been writing ever since I realised I could.
    • View Profile
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #12 on: June 28, 2020, 12:55:17 AM »
...Now she has me wondering whatever happened to that poor chap.  ;D

This is where writers become like detectives at a murder scene.  They've already seen the last act of that person's life, now they need to backtrack and find out what led up to it.

Some short stories are very much like this.  You imagine a perfect end scene, a perfect last line to a story.  But you have no idea how to get there.

You have to think it out backwards and then write it going forwards.

Gyppo

Dansinger

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 5103
  • Kudos: 9
  • Home is where the cat is
    • View Profile
    • Daan Katz
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #13 on: June 28, 2020, 01:24:28 PM »
Yes, the detective work. That's what makes us feel alive, eh?

I went to sleep last night thinking about my characters and what would be happening next. That's the best way to fall asleep.
Daan Katz, Author - Where the Magic Happens
The Elven Curse - Kings, priests, elves, and a woman in a wheelchair

Jo Bannister

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 2386
  • Kudos: 12
  • If this was easy, anyone could do it
    • View Profile
Re: My muse has fled
« Reply #14 on: July 06, 2020, 08:56:35 AM »
3,200 words.  Yesterday I wrote 3,200 words.  I'll repeat that for the benefit of those of you not paying attention: three thousand two hundred words.

I wonder if any of them were any good?