If winters are warmer well, that’s down to me -
for I run over bikes with my SUV,
I put bottles and tins
in the wrong colour bins
and then just for fun,
burn coal by the ton.
My unnecessary drives
save pensioners’ lives -
cutting broken hips
from frosty slips,
wintery chills
and energy bills.
But please - no applause,
it’s for a good cause.
