Bad Thing/Good Thing

[Jo Bannister]

Except, now I think about it, the bloody book wasn't worth writing in the first place.

Never mind, I've got a new job at the library.

[Gyppo]

But it's a totally digital library so I don't have the pleasure of 'shushing' people.

On other hand I can work from home.

[Jo Bannister]

...Where the wife, the kids and even the cat shush me!

Still, I'm off on holiday this weekend.

[Gyppo]

To where an overloaded and poorly maintained Greek Ferry, conveniently registered in Liberia, will predictably mark the start of the holiday season by rolling over and sinking, killing everyone but me.  As a consequence I will be hounded by;  a) The Press, as the lucky sole survivor, and b) by bloody counselling groups heaving on shovel loads of 'survivor guilt' so they can justify their existence by helping me.

Fortunately I have an Andorran passport in another name and an instantly forgettable face.

[Dansinger]

But your memory isn't as good as it used to be anymore, and you haven't a clue as to where you keep your Andorran passport.

However, thanks to your forgettable face, you can just go out in the city and hide in the crowds for as long as you need to.

[Noizchild]

But you get mistaken for someone who is in huge debt

You found a cure for AIDS

[Dansinger]

but Freddie Mercury still remains dead


Fortunately, you've got all his music on record and cd

[Firefly]

Until the dog managed to open the cabinet and chewed them all up

You got rid of the dog and bought a cat

[Dansinger]

but since you're a lazy git, you needed that dog to take you for walkies. Now you've become a couch potato, you put on lots of weight, got clogged arteries and diabetes and now you need insulin and a triple bypass.

Thankfully, there's lots of nice nurses at the hospital taking care of your many needs.

[Jo Bannister]

Regrettably, you're too zonked out to appreciate them.

The drugs give you some fascinating dreams, though.

[Dansinger]

which was fine, until that one dream where you thought you could fly. You landed on the pavement below, IV-line somehow still attached to your body. Now, on top of all the issues you were already dealing with, you have become a quadriplegic. Your life really sucks.

The only good thing left in your life is Netflix.

[Spell Chick]

And the cable went out.



The Doctor, not the doctor, arrives in his TARDIS and for some reason undoes all the damage to your body, leaving you healthy and on a path to complete renewal.

[Firefly]

But of course you decide to partake in the good life once again and end up back where you started

You don't mind because you had made many friends at that funny farm

[Dansinger]

Sadly, your friends have moved and there's none of them left.

Some of the new people at the funny farm seem friendly enough.

[Jo Bannister]

Especially the guy who likes to dress up as a doctor; only when you ask him why he carries a straw around, he says, "It's for sucking brains out with."

At least the medical staff seem aware that he's not really one of them.