What can I do with this story basis?

Started by Shadow627, December 16, 2023, 09:05:39 PM

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Shadow627

Is this thriller story basis good to make a story out of? How can I develop it?

My story is about female groups called Sireiats and the male gridiron football teams, the male rugby teams, the male hockey teams, the male lacrosse teams, the male soccer teams, and the male basketball teams that they, the sireiats, control.

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The Sireiats

A sireiat is a female group of eccentric introverted beautiful physically-fit warrior adolescent human females whose age range is 13 to 24. The members of sireiats have bodies that are in good shape and are attractive and slim in feminine elegant ways.

A member of a sireiat is called a sireiam. Sireiams are brave ferocious eccentric introverted warrior females who are highly skilled in martial arts. Sireiams are literally physically beautiful and literally have bodies that are attractive and slim in feminine elegant ways. This is because when it comes to accepting new members, sireiats only accept people with the following characteristics:


1. Female
2. Literally beautiful
3. Have faces that are literally beautiful
4. Have bodies that are literally sexy and slim
5. Brave
6. Loyal to their sireiats to the point that they will die for their sireiats
7. Hates gangsters
6. Hair color is dark-brown, pure-black, or dark grey.
7. Introverted
8. Eccentric
9. Have good hygiene
10. Always smell good
11. Artistic
12. Loves classical music

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Sireiats are beautiful sexy adolescent female warrior girls who are highly skilled in a variety of unknown obscure martial arts. Sireiats are highly obsessed with practicing martial arts, airsoft, and gun marksmanship. Sireiats love martial arts and gun marksmanship very much.

Sireiams love engaging in intense martial arts competitions with each other.

There are multiple sireiat groups in the whole world.

Sireiams are great warriors who are one of the world's greatest fighters especially in hand-to-hand combat.

Sireiats are also passionate artists in that they are very good at and love drawing, painting, digital illustration, sculpturing, animation, and designing clothes and outfits. Sireiats are very good at making artworks of realistic human faces and human bodies by using drawing, painting, digital illustration, and sculpturing. Speaking of sireiams designing clothes and outfits, sireiams also design their own clothes and outfits that they wear.

Sireiats are also passionate and highly skilled classical music composers. Sireiats love classical music. Sireiams can play many classical music instruments such as the piano, the violin, the harp, etc.

Sireiats are female adolescent martial artist groups who love training in martial arts, gun marksmanship, airsoft, drawing, painting, digital illustration, designing clothes, and making classical music.

Sireiams also love wearing long pleated skirts. The pleats of the skirts are 2 inches wide in width. The bottoms of the long pleated skirts completely cover the sireiams' ankles. Sireiams typically pair these skirts with buttoned blouses with long sleeves.

Sireiams also love wearing long plaid skirts whose bottoms completely cover their ankles. The long plaid skirts don't restrict movement and allows sireiams to move freely in any direction. The wrinkles and creases around these plaid skirts are curved. These plaid skirts are not elastic. Sireiams typically pair these skirts with buttoned blouses with long sleeves.

Sireiams also love using medieval German two-handed double-edged knight longswords as melee weapons. Sireiams are highly skilled in the HEMA martial art that uses these swords as melee weapons but sireiams often use wooden versions of these medieval swords.

Sireiams also love wearing pleated mini skirts.

Sireiats hate, fight, brutally kill, and brutally torture gangster gangbangers such as the Crips, the Bloods, the MS-13, etc. Sireiats also hate, fight, brutally kill, and brutally torture mafiosi such as Russian Mafia members, Italian Mafia members, Mexican Cartel members, etc.

Sireiats also own and control their own businesses. Sireiats make money.

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The Male Athletes

As for the relationship of sireiats with male gridiron football teams, male rugby teams, male hockey teams, male lacrosse teams, male soccer teams, and male basketball teams, sireiats typically control these various types of male athletes.

Sireiats have a contract with these male sports teams in that they help each other. For example, male gridiron football teams, male rugby teams, male hockey teams, male lacrosse teams, male soccer teams, and male basketball teams win many sports games so they can make money for their sireiats. In return, sireiats help these male sports teams in various ways such as by supplying their training with helpful equipments, giving them the best diet to be good at their respective sports, giving them the best medical services, giving these male sports teams access to the best professionals that can help them to be the best athletes, etc.

Sireiats can own and control 5 male gridiron football teams and above.

Sireiats can also own and control various types of male sports teams. For example, one sireiat can own a male gridiron football team, a male soccer team, and a male rugby team.

The types of male sports teams(male gridiron football teams, male rugby teams, male hockey teams, male lacrosse teams, male soccer teams, and male basketball teams) and male athletes that sireiats own and control are male highschool athletes. During 2nd year highschool, most male highschool athlete students and male highschool sports teams already form contracts with sireiams because forming these types of contracts with sireiams are proven to be one of the best of the best ways for these male athletes to join the NFL, the NHL, the NLL, the NBA, the USMNT, and the United States men's national rugby union team, be internationally recognized as great athletes, and become the best athletes in the whole world.

But the relationship between sireiats and male sports teams are scary and brutal. Sireiams often brutally abuse their male sports teams that they control. Sireiams look down on and hate athletes of gridiron football, rugby, hockey, lacrosse, soccer, and basketball. Sireiams often mock, make fun of, insult, extort, and brutally beat up these male athletes of gridiron football, rugby, hockey, lacrosse, soccer, and basketball. Sireiams are often not friends with these male athletes. Sireiams often do not form any type of relationship with these male athletes of gridiron football, rugby, hockey, lacrosse, soccer, and basketball.

There are also a lot of cases when sireiams brutally kill and brutally torture to death their male athletes. There are also a lot of times when sireiams kill their male sports teams by skinning them alive, burning them alive, impaling them Vlad The Impaler style, etc.

Sireiams are also ruthless, brutal, and sadistic when it comes to making their male athletes become the best male sports teams in the whole world. What I mean is that sireiams often threaten their male athletes that if they do not become the best male athletes, they, the sireiams, will kill brutally torture and kill them, the male athletes.

Sireiams also force their male athletes to train in brutal barbaric ways that can cause their male athletes to suffer the most brutal injuries and even brutal death. Sireiams do these to make sure that their male athletes will become the best male athletes in the whole world. Sireiams believe that these brutal barbaric types of training will make their male athletes far tougher than other male athletes. These brutal barbaric types of training indeed make the male athletes of the sireiams the best of the best male athletes in the whole world.

Sireiams also kidnap, brutally torture, and brutally kill their male athletes that try to escape from them. Sireiams also literally enslave their male athletes that try to escape from them. Sireiams enslave their male athletes in ancient barbaric ways. These enslaved male athletes are slaves towards the sireiams forever and the sireiams make sure that these enslaved male athletes completely disappear from the eyes of the public. Most of these enslaved male athletes die by being worked to death by their sireiams.

There was a story where one male hockey player tried to escape from the sireiam he works for so she personally and single-handedly brutally kidnapped him and killed him by burning him alive.

There was also another story of one male gridiron football team who tried to rebel against their sireiat. The gridiron football team has 30 male athletes as members while the sireiat has 20 sireiams. The male gridiron football team tried to fight and kill the sireiat in hand-to-hand combat but the sireiat easily defeated, beat-up, and killed all of the male gridiron football players.

When it comes to the rights and personal lives of their male athletes, sireiams are also arrogant, entitled, rude, and uncaring. One time, a male basketball player was on a date with his girlfriend. The two of them were having fun and being sweet to each other in a restaurant until the basketball player's sireiam just showed up and rudely and ferociously demanded in front of his girlfriend that he, the male athlete, should end the date and end his relationship with his girlfriend or she, the sireiam, will terminate his contract with the sireiat he works for. The sireiam thinks that the girlfriend is an unnecessary huge obstacle for the sireiat she works for.

The basketball player tried to ask the sireiam what's wrong with his girlfriend but the sireiam just brutally beat him up and then also brutally beat up his girlfriend. Then, the sireiam insultingly threatened his girlfriend to stay away from him forever. Then, the sireiam violently forced the basketball player to end his relationship with his girlfriend so he ended his relationship with his girlfriend. Then, the sireiam and the basketball player just left his ex-girlfriend in the restaurant.

So what can I do with the universe of this story? How can I further develop the universe, the story base, and the types of characters in the story? What can I do with this type of thriller story?


Laura

Hi Shadow,

I advise that you post some of your story on the Review my writing board for some critiques. You're asking how to expand your story, but only offering your pre=writing notes.

I will say that I think your 12 characteristics work as a description for one character, but not for a group. You are limiting your characters and your story with those.

Your notes seem more like an outline for anime or a graphic novel than a novel. Why not post some of your story so the community can make suggestions?
Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.
Arthur Ashe

Shadow627

Quote from: Laura on December 17, 2023, 03:10:21 AM"...Your notes seem more like an outline for anime..."


How do you think so?

Laura

Quote from: Shadow627 on December 17, 2023, 05:07:03 AM
Quote from: Laura on December 17, 2023, 03:10:21 AM"...Your notes seem more like an outline for anime..."


How do you think so?

Seems like a lot of attention to visuals, in my opinion. My artist friend makes notes before creating storyboards, and your remind me of those.
Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.
Arthur Ashe